For You For Eternity 3

PART 3

All I could see in the room that i was seated in is people in black crying while I just sat there feeling numb, I wondered if I would feel this way all my life and that was the last feeling that I will ever feel. People started to leave and I just sat there emotionless. I didn’t shed a tear, I didn’t do anything except for feeling numb. Days have passed and changed but I remained the same, 3amo jameela made me stay in their house because she didn’t want me to stay alone in my house. My mom didn’t have family she was an only child and my dads siblings (2 older brothers) are all outside the country with their families so I didn’t belong anywhere. I took 2 weeks off skool and stayed home and did nothing at all that is how I spent my day. Skool started again and I went to skool feeling empty. The driver came and picked me, ghada and 7mood back to their house.

All three of us: elsalam 3alaikm

Ghada’s mom and dad: wa3alaikm esalam

Ghada: ha mama sho 7ag el’3da?

Ghada’s mom: machboos, mama a7een bagool 7ag elbeshkara etjahz el’3da

The lunch went exactly how it went the other 2 weeks they would talk and I would give them fake smiles. I didn’t listen to a word they were saying. I day dreamed a lot thinking of my parents and my sister where would they be? are they missing me? Or are they finaly happy that they don’t have to deal with me or do they even remember me?

Ghada’ dad: ha amna bentii sho etgooleen 3an elsalfa?

Me: ay salfa?

Ghada’s dad: ena betemeen wayana 7abeebti bet3eesheen ehnii, 3ashan mayestiwi et3eesheen ebroo7ch o ana maar’9a ench etemeen ebroo7ch ok 3ami

Me: inshallah 3ami (that was all I could say I had nowhere to go…)

7mood:’wallah miskeena tikser el5a6er, I wish there was something I can tell her to make the pain go away, I want to be there for her’

Ghada: allah wanasa 3anii 3ndii roommate wansa sleep over estwa bs kil yoom

Me: hhh (I just gave her a half smile it was real but that was the best I can do)

Ghada’s mom: betemeen wiya ghada 7ad fatra lain ma ‘3rftch tjhaz ok 7abeebti

Me:inshallah

After lunch we headed to the room, the moment we entered I saw ghada slipping, the next I knew she was on the floor moaning in pain and rubbing her butt.

Ghada: ayyy…

Me: hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahah (I just burst out laughing) I couldnt leave it in me, I just had to let out im sry…

Ghada: ‘she is laughing oh thank god she will be ok with time’ ok ok laugh all u want but  u knw wen it happens to u ill laugh too and get a camera to record it too

After that we just talked like we always do and I kind of feeled better but still I never had the chance to talk to anyone abt it and to let it out.